1005: Love is a Weakness

Love is a Weakness

Long Jinjing stared at Lu Zihao through dazed, sleepy, half-lidded eyes.1

"Ah, I'm dreaming of you again, you jerk," she mumbled before closing her eyes and falling asleep again.

When her breathing became deep and regular again, Lu Zihao slowly released the breath he didn't notice that he was holding. 

"A jerk, huh." He raised an eyebrow, the corners of his lips raising into a devilish smirk. 

She had never called him such names to his face before. Was this how she thought of him now or did she always thought of him as a jerk? For some reason, he didn't feel insulted. On the contrary, he found it quite refreshing that his little Miss Prim and Proper lady could also utter words of insult about him. 

Then her breath hitched all of a sudden and a single tear escaped from the corner of her eye. "Nikolai…."

His smile froze. He watched as her eyelashes and lips trembled after whispering his name while dreaming. He reached over and wiped the tear with his fingers.

"Jinjing, don't cry," he whispered.

Perhaps feeling the warmth of his fingers on her cheek, she instinctively moved closer to him. "I love you, Nikolai, you jerk…."

His hand touching her froze as he felt something in his chest shake.

"Are you awake, Jinjing?"

No answer.

Her chest continued to rise and fall in a regular rhythm, indicating that she was still asleep and was just sleep-talking. [Read official chapters on W e b n o v e l. Please stop supporting piracy. Also follow author on Instagram: @arriacross]

He took a long, deep breath and exhaled it carefully while doing his damn best to calm himself down after hearing Long Jinjing declaring her love for him again even while sleeping. Many indescribable and complicated emotions swirled and swelled within him, making his chest feel as if it was being crushed from the inside by a powerful but intangible force. 

For the first time ever, he wondered what it would be like if he was a normal man living a regular life, a man without memories of a dangerous past life as the infamous and deadly heir of what was once known as the most powerful criminal family in the international underworld, a man who wasn't consumed by an almost obsessive thirst for vengeance.

If he were such a normal man living a regular life, then he could marry this sweet, shy, kind, and delicately beautiful woman sleeping on the bed that he custom-ordered for the two of them without worrying for her safety or the possibility of her rejecting him because of the illegal nature of his work and his brutality against people he considered his enemies.

He had never dared to imagine that kind of idyllic life before. As Nikolai Vetrov and the direct heir of the family organization, he couldn't afford to waste time dreaming of something that was impossible for someone like him to possess. 

As a Vetrov, there was no such thing as marrying for the sake of love. Such a thing was considered a weakness that their enemies could exploit. 

To the Vetrovs, marriage was, first and foremost, for the sake of continuing the family line and producing strong offspring. The second most important reason was to strengthen the family organization by marrying a partner that could either contribute top-notch skills or bring in valuable connections and other resources or both.

Madam Evgenia Yuryevna Vetrova, Nikolai and Evelina's mother, was an example of someone who contributed her top-notch skills to the organization. She was a talent personally trained and groomed by her father-in-law, the head of the family organization back then, starting when she was just a child. Although she didn't bring any valuable connections or wealth into the marriage, she was still considered one of the most formidable and powerful wives in the history of the Vetrovs.

An extremely beautiful but deadly woman with an ice-cold and poisonous heart. 

This kind of frightening woman gave birth to Nikolai and Evelina, the pair of siblings who had been reborn after their tragic deaths and were now living in different bodies as Lu Zihao and Long Xiulan (a.k.a. Iris Long) respectively.

Madam Vetrova was perhaps the biggest reason why the brother and sister treated love as something strange and alien. They just had no idea what to do with the thing called romantic love.

If not for Evelina's sheltered upbringing that made her innocent in a number of ways, she as Iris Long wouldn't have fallen in love and accepted Jin Liwei so quickly.

As for Nikolai, now living as Lu Zihao, the concept of romantic love wasn't something that he could easily accept unlike his sister. The lessons that were painfully drilled into him in his past life weren't so easy to disregard. 

Romantic love was a weakness.

A big weakness. 

For someone like him whose sole goal was revenge against extremely dangerous enemies, any weakness could be deadly. His obvious connections to his reborn sister, her husband, and all the other people close to them—all of them could already be considered as his weaknesses. This was why he was trying so hard to distance himself from all of them, even limiting meetings with his own sister, because he didn't want the enemies to use them against him. 

If he added a wife and children into the mix…he didn't want to imagine such a dangerous idea. He didn't give a damn about other innocent people, but if they were those he considered his family, then there was no way that he could bear it if they were harmed by his enemies. 

Therefore, it was better for him not to marry or have children in this lifetime. It was safer this way. Whether he lived or died in his bloody path of vengeance, at least he wouldn't have to worry about his innocent family. 

As for his sister, Evelinka had Jin Liwei to protect her with his vast wealth, powerful status, widespread influence, and impressive connections. She also wasn't someone to be trifled with despite her naturally kind and compassionate heart. After all, she was a legendary hacker and was also trained in close combat, not to mention a top-notch sharpshooter. 

Nikolai didn't have to worry much about her. No, that wasn't entirely accurate. He would always worry about his sister, but at least she had someone to protect her in case something happened to him. 

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