221: It Is Not Meant For Me

It Is Not Meant For Me

Oriana didn't doubt Yorian's lie even a bit and asked, "But His Highness, he…"1

"King Drayce has taken care of it. He told Prince Arlan that you will stay here for a few days to look after Queen Seren. Prince Arlan never says 'no' to his friend. You have seen the kind of friendship they have."

  Oriana let out a sigh of relief. She could not thank them enough for all their help. If her secret was leaked last night, she didn't know what could have happened to her. The prince she serves would definitely punish her, harshly at that, for her deception.

"Thank you so much for helping me and taking care of me, my lord."

"It's not a big deal," Yorian said, a kind smile hanging on his lips as he observed her. 

Oriana felt a little awkward to be stared at so intently. "Is there a problem, Lord Yorian?"

"You are a beautiful woman, Oriana. It's a pity that you have to disguise yourself as a man and make this world have one less beauty in it."

It took her several heartbeats for the meaning of his words to sink in. Her hands flew to her head, and she realized her hair was no longer in a tight bun, rather, her locks were freely tumbling over her shoulders, spilling around her in a pool of reds and golds. She was also wearing a pure white nightgown, elegant in its simplicity, showing off the delicate curves of her body. 

She had no headwrap!

She had no chest bind!

Then that meant her appearance—

Sudden embarrassment took over her, and she didn't know what to say. She had always known she was beautiful, but this was the first time someone said it straight to her face, to Oriana the twenty-year-old woman, not Orian the fifteen-year-old boy.

She tried to get out of the bed. 

"Stay in bed," she heard Martha rebuke like an elderly relative. "You are yet to recover."

"But—" 

"Do not be reckless and rest as much as you need. You are going to stay here for the next few days so that you can properly rest."

Oriana felt hesitant with the treatment given to her. This room was surely not a servant's quarter but room for a noble guest, not to mention the exquisite nightgown she was wearing ought to be borrowed from a noble lady as well. A peasant like her did not deserve such luxury. She knew her place. 

"Miss Martha, I am grateful for your generosity, but this is too much."

Be it Queen Seren, Lord Yorian or Miss Martha, all of them treated Oriana kindly, as if she was their kin. Although she felt they were not bad people, their kindness was burdensome. They had only known each other for less than a week. As the saying goes, "If it is too good to be true, it probably is."

Oriana was merely a royal servant from another kingdom. Even though she discovered through them that she was not human, in her opinion, there was no reason for them to be too good to her…unless they have hidden intentions.

As if Martha could see through her thoughts, the woman spoke, "In our eyes, you are a guest, not a servant. You are someone special to us. One can be kind without reason. Not to mention, you also helped out Her Majesty when she was in need. Do not hesitate to accept what is being given to you here."

Martha could not tell her the whole truth. 

For witches, no human nobility or royalty could be placed higher than the Queen of their race- the Queen of Witches. In fact, from the moment she realized Oriana's identity, Martha should have been kneeling in front of the younger witch. However, this truth could not be revealed yet. 

"Thank you, Miss Martha."

"Make yourself comfortable."

Oriana knew best her body's condition, and she knew what Martha said was the truth. She needed proper rest. She lay back in bed, a quiet sigh escaping her lips. 

Martha watched the young witch stare at the ceiling blankly. She offered her water and porridge, but Oriana politely refused, not having any appetite. Martha fishing out something from her pocket.

Oriana looked at her, only to find the older woman taking out a familiar-looking pouch. 

With a bitter sigh, she sat up in bed. "That is mine."

"I know," Martha replied. "For how long have you been taking this?"

Oriana didn't dare meet Martha's gaze. "More than two months…" 

"Two months?" Martha repeated in disbelief. "Aren't you aware of what you are doing to your body?"

"I have no other choice." She finally looked at the other woman. "You are aware of my situation, Miss Martha. I have to live surrounded by men all the time ever since I became a royal servant. The palace people would have discovered the truth if I had gotten my monthly cycle, especially during this trip. I have no other choice but to take desperate measures to stop my cycle until I regain my freedom."

"Suppressing the natural course of your body is the same as making your body go against nature. In the end, your body could not take the burden and you are lying in bed now, in such a weak condition," Martha rebuked her. "Do you not know the real harm your body faces? This herb is destroying you inside. It can make you infertile. You will never be able to bear children."

"I know." 

A hollow smile appeared on Oriana's pale face, the kind of defeated smile one would show when a person was at the end of her rope. The pity in Martha's eyes made her lower her head in guilt. Being a physician, harming her own body made her no less than a sinner, breaking her own creed. 

"I know, but it's alright," Oriana explained, her tone light. "I never imagined such a future anyway— to marry a man and bear his children. It is not meant for me and neither do I have such a dream. What I want is to simply live well for as long as I can. First, for the sake of my grandpa, and second, I can at least dedicate the rest of my life to medicine.

Martha could only feel bad for the new Queen of the Witches. Such a powerful being but had been living a miserable life all along, not knowing anything about herself, fighting to continue living her ordinary life. 

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