93: I Don't Hate You

I Don't Hate You

Luke tended to her wound as gently as he could with his complete focus on.

'Though cold outside, he is truly warm inside, just those rare times he speaks, his words are often brutal to hear. It's been four months since we met, but he never gave me a reason to be wary of him. In fact, I feel as if I am always safe with him. A simple and good-hearted man, he is…

'I wonder if he will treat me the same if he knows I am a woman, given how he runs away from girls in the village and even rejects marriage proposals. Sometimes, I feel like he hates womankind, except for his mother. I better not let him know about me till I leave the village and disappear with my Grandpa.' 

She sighed inwardly, thinking of their nomadic lifestyle. Perhaps, it would be time to move to a new place by the end of winter.

'We have moved around so many villages that I forgot people I've met shortly, but it seems like I will never forget Luke and his family. When the time comes I can settle down permanently, I wish we can remain friends, maybe I can even invite him to hang out together but…hmm…I don't know how many years that will be in the future. What if by then he already has his own family? He won't have much free time then.

'I wonder what kind of woman he will marry. Whoever she will be, she is a lucky one. It's hard to find a good man like Luke. Even I will agree to marry him if I am allowed to live as a woman and it's compulsory to marry. Though he is annoying so many times when he doesn't talk, it's not that bad. He is handsome, reliable, and kind. He is also not lazy and has no vices. He is my first choice of a husband. Sadly, we are not meant to be...' 

"It's done." 

Luke rolled her pants down after wrapping her wound with bandage. He then proceeded to apply the paste on the scrapes on her palms.

Oriana got back to her senses. "Thank you, Luke."

"You had a meal?" he asked as he stood up.

"Not yet. In fact, I was planning to eat with you but you—"

"What do you want to eat?"

"Anything you are having."

"Wait here."

After a while, Luke returned with two dishes in hand. He placed them on the table and brought it towards her, lifting the table as if it weighed nothing.

"Here?" she asked. "I don't mind eating in the common hall."

"Your leg is hurt."

"It's just a scratch and not like I broke my leg. Don't treat me like I'm disabled. I can walk towards—mmphf!"

Her mouth was sealed as Luke stuffed bread in it. "Eat."

With her complaints visible on her expression, she started eating quietly. The food looked good, and she was hungry. 

Luke began to eat as well, not minding that glare from her. With the common hall full of sweaty male workers, he was not willing to put her in a situation where he was sure she would attract trouble.

"You were going to tell me something," Luke commented after some time. 

"You didn't want to listen a while ago."

He sighed inwardly. Of course, he wanted to know, even if her decision was not to his liking. 

Seeing him not reacting to her sarcastic remark, she rolled her eyes. 'If you don't react, am I supposed to guess your thoughts? I cannot read minds unlike a certain noble brat.'

Oriana looked around first to see if there were people in the vicinity and heard Luke say, "No one is around."

"Oh, fine then." She finished a bite. "Last time I told you, that apothecary, Master Cenric, is coming to Karlin."

"Hmm." 

"Unfortunately, though he is coming here, he was summoned to the royal palace, and he seems to be treating an important person so he won't be allowed outside for who knows how long. I don't have that much time to wait for him. I cannot wait for months  so…"

"You plan to enter the palace with the help of the Ahrens."

"You are smart, Luke." 

There was no reply to her praise. She observed his solemn face and saw his silent disapproval. "Luke, I have to do it for my grandpa. You know he is the only family I have. I can't lose him."

There was a silence for a while and Oriana waited for him to at least say something. It came out of nowhere but she had this feeling that his opinion, his support, was important to her. 

"Palace people, be they nobles or royals, they are not good people." Though his eyes were calm, there was something else as well, a coldness with a tinge of anger. "People like us are better away from them."

"I know, but I have no other option," she sighed. "I promise, once I finish my goal, I will…we will return to the village."

Once again, there was silence, but he thought about her last words. 'We will return to the village' was enough assurance.

"If you face any trouble, whatever it is, seek for me first."

A beautiful smile appeared on her face, warm like the first ray of sunlight after a freezing winter night.

"I will. I promise."

Luke found himself lost under her beauty, staring at her smiling face, especially those bright hazel eyes. His heart began to beat wildly, causing him to grit his teeth.

"When will you stop smiling like a girl?"

"That…"

"It's fine in front of me. Never smile like this in front of others," he warned. 

"I won't."

He changed the subject. "How exactly do you plan on entering the palace?"

Oriana explained her thoughts on the matter, about her switching from using the House of Ahren to using Arlan.

"...I have to make sure that the Lord will grow fond of me enough to offer me work that will allow me to accompany him once he goes to the palace."

"This new master of yours, is he good to you?"

"Umm, how should I say it? He is a good person, I think, but he is really moody that I cannot predict him. The first day, he's somewhat tolerable but today he gave me the cold shoulder. Makes me feel like I did something to offend him."

"Stay away from him as much as you can."

"That I can't do. As his personal attendant, I have to do everything for him, like even having to help him bathe…"

Crack!

The wooden spoon in Luke's hand broke into two with his jaw clenched. Fortunately, he was done eating.

"W-What happened?" Oriana felt she said something wrong. 

"Nothing. Finish it fast and let's return to the village together."

"Yes, I plan to," she said and decided to divert the topic seeing how dark his expression was. It was the same angry face her grandfather would make back when he was a mercenary, the kind that could kill a person. She felt like if she let it slip that Arlan was interested in pretty boys, knowing how protective Luke was, her friend would drag her back to the village that very day.

"You know, just like you, that Lord's knight, the Third Young Master, gives me the cold shoulder. I am sure he hates me for some reason. Maybe my thin body—"

"I don't hate you."

She was taken aback. "Umm, I don't mean it but…sometimes, I do feel you hate me."

"When?"

"Most of the time? Especially in the last few days, you give me the cold shoulder and refuse to talk to me."2

"It's not like that."

"Then what is it?"

Luke looked at her, her beautiful eyes staring back at him to get her answer. 

He looked away. "Just know that I don't hate you."

"Alright, alright. Understood. As long as you don't hate me, I can live with that."

Through the corner of his eyes, he saw her smiling like a little girl and a ghost of a smile appeared on his face as well. Unfortunately, she began to resume eating. If Oriana saw his ruggedly handsome face, she would be stunned silly. 

A smile and Luke, there was no relationship between them. 

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