273: [Bonus chapter]Living is my punishment

[Bonus chapter]Living is my punishment

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What a strange thing to hear. It was something that neither Heaven nor Bear would hear or say. 

She was dead.

There was no way a dead would return to life, but here she was. Although in another person's body, Hera was back. She was alive — very much alive.

"I see… So, Andrea Ng succeeded in a way." Bear rocked his head in understanding as he listened to her story attentively. He didn't miss a word or a period, not even a pause. "That's… unbelievable, still."

"I know." Heaven let out a shallow breath. "But that's what I can only remember. I didn't know how I got into this body. I just woke up from it and embraced the second life that was offered to me."

Bear let out a short chuckle, looking at the woman across from him. "That sounds like something you say."

"It's a good thing the original Heaven left her memories, so it was easier to adjust to this new life." Heaven shrugged, peeking down at her body. "Though it took me some time since this body is weak."

Heaven continued to share her thoughts about this body, telling him everything just to make sure he wouldn't doubt her. Or at least, if he had questions, they could address them immediately. Letting him in this secret was important, and she couldn't afford the slightest doubt from Bear. 

"Also…" she trailed off as she lifted her head to him, raising her brows upon seeing him just staring at her silently. "What? If you have any questions, just ask them right away. I'll do my best to answer any question as long as I got them."

"Nothing." Bear flashed her a warm smile. "I don't doubt everything. What else to doubt when you already exposed secrets that only you and I know?"

"Then why are you looking at me like that?"

"I just… it's hard to believe it and I honestly don't know what to feel or think about it," he explained with all honesty. "Though what I am certain is, regardless of how ridiculous and unbelievable the story you told me, I am relieved. I can't even put it in words."

"Bear." Her face softened. "I'm also relieved at how silly our fates were."

"Didn't you have any plans to contact me if I didn't coincidentally appear before you?"

"I'm sorry." She pressed her lips into a thin line with its corners curled up. "I know this sounds selfish, but I wanted to take care of this new life. Admit it or not, our lives back then only have one path if we wanted to escape it and that was death. I don't want that life anymore, especially since I have a son and a husband."

"Make sense." Bear rocked his head, letting out a quick chuckle at the thought. "You finally got to live your dream, boss."

He slowly raised his eyes to her once again. "I'm deeply happy for you."

"Thank you." Her eyes softened as she turned her head, looking at the busy city from the balcony. "Who would have thought, right? That I get to have a husband and son — to have a family of my own."

Her eyelids drooped, letting the whisper of the wind fill in the momentary silence. 

"It's crazy how someone like me was blessed to have a second life. If this was what they call Karma, then I would never say sorry for all the things I've done as Hera." The corner of her mouth curled up subtly. "But there were days I don't think it was a good karma, for I now know what fear is like."

"I'm scared that something bad will happen to them, Bear. Just the thought of it is enough to keep me up all night, wondering if someone would sneak in to harm them." Heaven slowly set her eyes back to the man across from her. "I'm scared that one day, I will wake up and I'm not in this body anymore. That fear weighs my heart down and this weight gets heavier every waking hour and night. It is a battle I have to fight every single day; something I never thought would bother me as Hera."

Bear held her gaze, understanding the sincerity in her claims. Never once did he ever hear Hera say she was scared. She wasn't even scared of death, but now she was putting her heart out there. 

"You love them?" he asked, almost like he blurted out. 

"So much I would burn this world for no reason if they ask me to." She admitted without a moment's hesitation. "That is how important they are to me, Bear. Dominic and Basti are now my life, my heart, my world. They were the ones who are keeping me going. They make me want to be better than I was, and I would do anything to live this life as Heaven Liu just to be with them."

Bear kept a warm and understanding smile, tipping his head down. "Then I will put my hand in my heart and swear to protect them."

"Thank you." Heaven smiled in satisfaction, watching him raise his head. "I'm sorry that you have to lose everything for me."

"No, it wasn't your fault, Boss." Bear smacked his lips as he drew a deep breath, looking up at the blindingly bright, clear sky. "What happened to Esme is solely my fault. You didn't ask me to drown myself with alcohol, but instead, you kept reminding me every single day to take care of her."

"I lost Esme because of me and me alone. It's something I would never forgive myself, but at the same time, losing her and our child is a hard lesson life taught me." He shifted his soft eyes back to her. "This guilt and the demons it created will be mine to bear. Even so, I will continue to live as long as I can."

"Living is my punishment," he added in a somber tone. "So, while I am at it, allow me to serve you again. I cannot turn back time no matter how I lament about it, but I can still protect your family."

Silence descended upon their shoulders, staring at each other. After a minute, her lips parted as a smile turned up on her face.

"Do I have any other choice?" she humored with a helpless sigh. "You already found me out. There's no way I won't use you and make you work to the bones. I'll make your life a living hell, Bear. This is for Esme and your child as well."

In contrast to her cruel remarks, Bear smiled. 

"Then, I'd take it." He lowered his head. "I hope you get the justice they deserved, boss."

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