289: [Bonus chapter]I don’t want to go back to my old ways too, Bear.

[Bonus chapter]I don’t want to go back to my old ways too, Bear.

"Do you think he found out?"1

"No." Heaven sat in the backseat, eyes down. "I doubt. He won't find out. At least not that soon."

"Then why does he want to meet you?" asked Bear in a deep baritone, keeping his sharp eyes on the road. "Don't tell me you're going, boss?"

Heaven didn't answer immediately, thinking about her next move. She still hadn't responded to Primo's message, and she wasn't able to enjoy her shopping spree. Well, she already bought a lot to eat for her husband and son and Axel. 

"He will dispose of Paula." She slowly turned her head, staring out the window. "Do I have a choice?"

Bear frowned at her response. "You have a choice," he corrected. "Let her be."

"Bear, Paula..." Heaven deliberately paused to think of the right words to explain it to him. "Paula is the original Heaven's only friend. They were like sisters."

"And yet, Paula Shen betrayed Heaven Liu," Bear argued without a second hesitation. "Paula poisoned Heaven Liu's mind in the latter's most vulnerable state. Andrea Ng might've offed Heaven Liu, but she was already dying inside before that incident. Paula already killed her in those five years."

That was correct. 

Heaven couldn't argue with Bear because what he spewed was the truth. 

Heaven refused Dominic's offer to pay for her to see a specialist because she hated him so much. His voice was already enough to anger her, let alone accept his help and make him contribute to her life. 

But Paula was different. 

If it was Paula, Heaven might've accepted Paula's offer, if only Paula offered help. Paula didn't do what a good friend would do, but instead whispered in the original Heaven's ears like the little devil she was. 

"Everything you said is true, Bear. However..." Heaven slowly clutched her chest to feel the pain that wasn't hers. "No matter how despicable Paula Shen was to Heaven Liu, they were sisters. I can't explain it properly, but I get the feeling that even if Heaven Liu knows about Paula's true colors, she would forgive her."

"That's..."

"It's stupid, I know." A deep exhale escaped her lips. "But that's what this heart is telling me. I already told you that I kept Heaven Liu's memories, but that's not all. There were some emotions that Heaven Liu left in this heart that compelled me to please her. Or to be precise, satisfy that crippling guilt in her heart."

Her eyes drooped, still staring at the flashing sideroad. "I personally don't like Heaven Liu, but I have to admit she's too kind for her own good."

Silence followed her quiet remarks. Bear glanced at her through the rear mirror, only to see Heaven carry this inexplicable expression. 

"I see," he muttered after a while, rocking his head in understanding. 

Knowing Hera, she would definitely let Paula Shen alone. If anything, Hera would just let Primo do whatever the damn hell he wanted and stay away from his business. However, for Hera to keep herself involved in Paula Shen meant she had more reasons. More personal reasons she had to do. 

"Let me come with you." Another minute had passed before Bear offered. "I still believe he has something to do with those people who followed us on your first day of filming."

Heaven leaned back comfortably, reconsidering his offer. "No."

"Boss."

"Bear, I don't think I will get anything informative if you stick with me." She set her eyes on the driver's seat. "Primo Rossi is aware of your existence and is wary of you. Do you really think he can do anything to me? What do you think they can do?"

A glint flickered across her sharp, piercingly cold eyes. "I might be Heaven Liu now, but I will always be Hera Cruel. I don't mind letting out my horns if that is who they want."

Another wave of silence followed her remarks as Bear felt the weight of each of her words.

"People don't expect much from me now that I'm in this body and I've always thought it was something I can use to my advantage," she said, exhaling. "You were once one of them, Bear. However, now that you know the truth, I expect that you at least know what I'm capable of."

"Whether you are Heaven or Hera, I will always worry about you. I thought you already know that." He sighed. "Fine. I won't come with you, but I'll stick around. If I see something suspicious, like it or not, I'll take you out of there."

She pressed her lips into a thin line, shaking her head helplessly. "Nothing change, I guess."

"Nothing change, indeed." Bear rocked his head mildly. "I lost you once, Hera. Forgive me if this old man can be a little nagging more than ever. I just don't want to lose you again. That will be the last straw. Don't put yourself in danger... if you can."

"I know that." Her eyes softened before massaging her forehead mildly. "Don't worry, Bear. I also wish to stay away from danger as much as possible." — wasn't that the reason that even if she could barge into Primo's home and put a blanket of bullets in his body, she didn't do so?

Up until now, Heaven had always chosen a way without directly soiling her hands. The only time she raised her fist was when during the drag race. Deep in her heart, she didn't want to pick up another weapon because doing so meant taking a life. 

And that was a path of no return. 

She didn't want to go back to that sort of life, and this desire grew stronger after that night with Axel.

"I don't want to go back to my old ways too, Bear," she whispered, gazing down at her phone. She turned it on, making her screen light up and showing her son's picture as her wallpaper. "Not when I'm slowly making progress as Heaven Liu. So, don't worry that I'm slowly sliding back to becoming who or what I was."

"I'm just doing everything I can to live this life as peacefully as possible in the future," she added quietly, brushing Sebastian's picture with her thumb. "That's the only clear goal I have right now."

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