316: For his sake

For his sake

2"Yes, Paula. I'm very disappointed in you."0

Heaven's eyelids drooped as the layer of frost on her countenance returned without concealing it. She tilted her head to the side, scanning Paula's figure and how she sat on the edge of the bed under the darkness of her room. The only source of light that gave them enough to glimpse each other was from the night lamp placed on the bedside table and the light coming from outside the open door where Heaven stood. 

"Paula..." she spoke after a minute of silence. "... how does it feel to sit on the side of the bed, holding pills that you know can kill you?"

"Huh?" Paula's brows rose at Heaven's change of tone.

Heaven should be rushing to her now. Considering Paula already mentioned taking a few pills, she expected Heaven to be frantic while bawling her eyes out. Or maybe Heaven making a scene in fear of losing her only friend. 

Why did Heaven sound so relaxed? 

"You look pitiful..." Heaven continued as gloom peeked into her eyes. "If I have even a tiny bit of sympathy to spare you, I would've frantically saved you, no matter how stupid it sounds. However, what you had done simply made me lose everything I felt for you."

Mercy, understanding, and slight pity. Everything Heaven tried to spare Paula disappeared without a trace in this very second. 

Although she was so ready to teach Paula a lesson, the latter would never forget, she had been having second thoughts. Heaven thought Paula would destroy herself after what Primo did to her and the drug addiction she developed. There was nothing she have to do anymore. 

But in this very second, Heaven suddenly realized that wasn't it. 

'I'm sorry, Heaven Liu,'whispered Heaven to herself. 'I can't let this slide anymore.'

"Heaven, what are you saying...?"

"Paula Shen." Heaven peeled her side from the jamb and unfolded her arms, marching toward Paula. "How many times did you watch me from this spot while I sat on the edge of the bed, wondering what was the purpose of living?"

"What...?" Paula felt her heart thud the closer Heaven got to her, gazing up when the latter stood before her. 

"You were expecting me to lose my head the moment I see you, and rush to you when you mentioned taking the pills," Heaven continued, bending over until her hands were resting on either side of Paula, looking at her straight in the eye. "Did you forget how many times I was in that situation for the past five years, Paula? You've seen me in that state countless times, but you did nothing."

"My heart and soul were screaming for help, and you know I needed help, but you purposely ignored it. You watch me fall into the depths of my own hell, and instead of reaching out your hand, you watched me from the surface as I fall deeper and deeper." She stressed on each of her words, reminding Paula of their situations back then; that time, the original Heaven was still alive. "Paula Shen, just what did Heaven do so wrong for you to mock her even at this point?"

Her eyes shone with fury, grinding her teeth as the corner of her mouth twitched. "You… of all people… how dare you make light of her hell by faking your own depression?"

Paula's breath hitched as her dilated eyes shook, unable to look away at the pair of fiery eyes before her. 

'How did she know?' wondered Paula to herself. 'How did she know what I was trying to do?'

For a few months now, Heaven had been acting differently than she used to be. Even before Heaven fell into depression, she wasn't as fierce and cunning as she was in the present. The Heaven Paula knew was forgiving with a big heart to spare for everyone. 

That was why Paula realized she couldn't make Heaven rush in here if she didn't pull off something big. Something that was enough to put Heaven under her control once again. Thus, Paula thought that if Heaven saw her in a state the latter was so familiar with, Heaven would relate.

Considering they were drifting apart because Heaven had set up boundaries, she would surely feel responsible for being a terrible friend. That was the plan. To take control of her once again.

How did Heaven figure that out? There was no way she could read her mind.

"I… Heaven…" Paula's lips quivered as her brain fluctuated, thinking of ways to salvage her situation. "It's not like that. Why would I—"

"It's not like what?" Heaven scoffed. "I can see through your every lie, Paula. I am not blind, but I chose to for the sake of our friendship, thinking the friend — the sister I used to know will return once she realized it's always been the two of us."

She shook her head, unable to get rid of the pain in her heart that was already etched in her heart. "I wanted to believe you just strayed off. But with enough love, you'd find your way back. I was wrong, Paula. Very wrong."

Heaven pushed herself away from Paula, maintaining a fierce look. She gazed down at Paula, showing no sign of emotion for her.

"Paula Shen, I had always wished that one day, you'd remember all my dad's lectures and how he loved you like you were his own." She swallowed the growing lump in her throat and then breathed it out through her lips. "I was hoping that even if you don't want me in your life anymore, at least, for him, who is like a father to you… for his sake, you will cut me off properly and I will respectfully step away."

"If you want to kill yourself, just do it," Heaven spat out. "I'll still organize your funeral just the way you like it. If not, then I'm done with you. I want nothing to do with you anymore, so don't ever contact me again."

The two women stared at each other in a momentary silence before Heaven turned on her heel to leave her alone. However, just as she took three steps, she halted when Paula spoke. 

"For his sake?" Paula let out a dry laugh, watching Heaven slowly look back at her. "Why do I need to do something for him? When all he did to me is make me wonder why can't he love me the same way he loves you?"

"What did you say?"

"I said, your father… deserves to die, knowing his beloved daughter wasn't there for him but me."

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