337: [Bonus chapter]How complicated

[Bonus chapter]How complicated

"I don't know what happened. All I remember is that Heaven came to my place because I felt overwhelmed due to a recent breakup. She accompanied me, but she was not pleased with Manager Chu. Heaven already pointed out that Manager Chu wasn't doing her job, but they didn't argue."  1

Paula pressed her lips into an inscrutable line, reclining in the hospital bed while giving her statement to the detectives.

"I don't know what happened. All I know is that Heaven was beside me when I fell asleep after crying to her." A tear coated her eyes, hands still trembling as she fumbled with them. "I woke up because of the noise and when I went out..."

Paula trailed off as she sniffed, shaking as she recalled the traumatic scene she saw in her living room. She hugged herself to calm her trembling body. 

The officers looked at each other before setting their eyes on Paula Shen. 

"Miss Shen, we know this is hard for you, but we have to know how this tragic situation happened," said the officer in an understanding manner. "Has Manager Chu and Miss Liu been on bad terms? Was there always a tension between them?"

"No." Paula shook her head. "There were misunderstandings every once in a while because Manager Chu had this unexplained hostility to Heaven. But Heaven is my friend, so... I thought everything was okay."

Paula gazed down at her fingers, hiding the wound on the tip of her thumb, which was already wrapped in a thin bandage. 

"Then can you please tell us where you got that wound on your thumb?"

"Huh?" Deep lines appeared between her brows as she gazed up at them. "Are you suspecting me?"

"Miss Shen, this case is an attempted murder. We need to know everything to clear up your name. Your full cooperation is needed, but if you're innocent, there's no need to be afraid of."

Paula pursed her lips into a tight line, calming her racing heart. Good thing she was an actress and thus, she only needed to act innocent and also a victim to buy herself some time. 

"I have this habit of biting my thumb when I'm under stress," she answered, giving half of the truth. "Work had been tough lately, adding my personal problems, I was under great stress. That's why I'm in an IV."

"But Miss Shen, when you came out of your room, you weren't in IV anymore. Why did you take it out?"

Paula held her breath, clasping her hand together as a reminder not to show them what they wanted. Manager Chu was still their prime suspect. If they suspected her, they would've handcuffed her.

'It's okay, Paula,'she told herself, biting her inner lower lip. "I was in shock at the noises and I accidentally removed it when I run outside to see what were all the noise was about."

"I see..." the officer rocked his head in understanding. 

"How was Heaven?" she asked, using this time to show her concerns. "Is she... alright?"

"Well, Miss Liu is still in the emergency room. She wasn't in a good state, considering she lost a lot of blood and her injury was fatal."

Paula hung her head low, staring at her fingertips.

'She will die. She has to,' She told herself, but despite that deep wish, she didn't feel the satisfaction she expected. Instead, a layer of tears immediately coated her eyes and before she knew it, tears landed on her fingers. 

"If something bad happened to her, I will not forgive myself."

'She should die.'

"I hope she'll be okay." Paula sniffed as her voice sounded muffled, but in her mind, her thoughts were something else. 

'She can't live. She shouldn't.'

Yet, despite the contrasting thoughts and words that were coming out of her mouth, one thing was clear. Those tears were real. However, the real meaning behind those tears was something even Paula didn't know. She just couldn't stop them from falling. 

"Miss Shen." The officer slightly sympathized with her, but still couldn't completely rule her out of the suspect list. Still, he handed her a handkerchief to wipe her tears. 

"Thank." Paula peeked at him, accepting the handkerchief to wipe her tears. 

"Anyway, Miss Shen —"

Knock knock

The officer leading the questioning stopped at the knock on the door. Both officer and Paula turned their attention toward the door, only to see another officer peek his head in. 

"Detectives..." the officer called the other two, who were leading the questioning without giving out any details. 

The detective questioning Paula excused himself for a moment, to which Paula replied with an understanding nod. Paula kept her eyes on the retreating officer, wondering if they figured out she was the culprit.

Paula didn't need to wonder for so long because when the detective returned, he announced;

"Miss Shen, the investigation is not attempted murder anymore, but a homicide."

"What?" All colors on her face drained, keeping her eyes on the detective as the latter sat down on his chair beside her bed. "Homicide?"

"Yes, unfortunately." The detective sighed heavily. "Please, we're hoping you cooperate to get justice for Miss Liu."

The detectives assessed Paula's reaction, but her face was just blank as if she was in shock. 

"Miss Shen?" the man called, only to see another tear roll down her unblinking eyes. "Miss Shen."

"No." Paula shook her head, lifting the blanket off her legs as she tried to get out of bed. "I don't believe you. Heaven can't — no, she shouldn't. She can't leave me alone. She's the only one I have."

Paula unhesitatingly removed the stuff that was inserted into the back of her hands, mumbling things such as "Heaven was her only family, that she shouldn't die, and that she didn't believe them, and so on."

"Miss Shen, please calm down."

Paula only stopped when the officer held her shoulders, stilling her on the bed. When she looked up at them, tears already flooded her face.

"Please…" she begged with a shaking voice, clasping the officer's clothes tightly. "... tell me, she's not dead."

The officer's eyes softened with pity, lowering his gaze. "I'm sorry."

"No…!" This time, a loud cry escaped her mouth as she hung her head down, hands still clasping the officer. Paula pounded her fist against her chest, crying her heart out, unable to explain the pain in her heart. 

Wasn't this what she prayed for? 

Wasn't this what she wanted?

Then why was she crying so much when she was the one who killed Heaven?

Why did this hurt so much?

To be honest, Paula was just as confused. Her mind kept reminding her of what led her to this situation, but now that her heart started speaking, she couldn't bear the pain of what she had done to her only family. 

How complicated.

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