Let's have a rational conversation (part 1)
Between her desire to evade reality, to put distance between herself and her husband, yet, at the same time, never leave his arms once more. Adela surrendered to the exhaustion, ultimately losing herself to a deep slumber as her husband took human steps back to their home.2
***
She gradually awoke to the comforting darkness of their room, made warm by the unbroken connection of their mate bond. Stretching out her hand, Adela's fingers sought the warmth of her husband's side of the bed, but it remained cold and untouched.
Her eyes snapped open, and she turned within the bed, searching for him. Her gaze soon fell upon Egon, standing near the window, close to the soft, colorful glow of the room's only lit candles. He stared through the stained glass into the night, his hands clasped behind his back, rising and falling with his deep breaths. It was as if he inhabited a world all his own, a world she couldn't quite see.
Was she part of that world at all?
Feeling a sudden sense of solitude, Adela gingerly sat up in bed. Her body felt a bit sluggish, but her energy had returned. She noticed that her skin was clean, and she was dressed in her comfortable, fresh white nightgown. She broke the silence with a small, unused voice.
"Thank you."
"For what?" He replied, his voice cool and distant.
"...For changing my clothes and cleaning me."
"I couldn't bear his stench on you."
His words cut through her, knowing that what troubled Egon wasn't the mud but the unmistakable presence of Aldric's scent that must have clung to her.
"Would you please sit down next to me?" she implored.
"..."
After a moment of silence, she spoke once more.
"Egon, please sit down. We need to talk."
Turning around, he wore a distant expression, but the warmth of the brown in his eyes was a comforting sight. With a few long strides, he sat down at the edge of the bed, facing her.
"After the examination today, I was too embarrassed to stay and face the Archduchess's interrogation at Father's estate. I wanted to find him and discuss Claude, but he was busy dealing with the fallout from Arkin's absence... There wasn't a knight in sight as I walked."
He maintained a neutral expression while continuing to fix his gaze on her.
"I also wanted to check on Kannen, and that's when I heard my name and witnessed the accident."
Egon must have seen the injured horse as well. She took a deep breath and composed herself.
"I did what I believed was necessary for the kingdom, even if it meant harming myself in the process," she paused, recollecting his words before losing consciousness in his arms. "Harming you was never my intention, and knowing that I did has left me deeply distressed."
He turned his face away from her.
"…You're justified in being upset with me. You warned me not to engage with someone who likely took a life." She turned her gaze away from his face. "Then, on the same day, circumstances forced me to go out of my way and perform a miracle for him." She returned her gaze to him. "You have every right to be angry with me." She took another calming breath, moving on to the crucial part. "When Bastian arrived... Aldric, he began saying strange things."
His eyes sharply returned to her face.
"What kind of strange things?" He asked, his tone edgy. "By now, you should be well-acquainted with his manipulative tactics. Shouldn't you have considered all this before you approached him?"
"…The situation at that moment-"
He clicked his tongue.
"You can rationalize your actions all you want. But do you honestly believe you can defend them in front of me? You acknowledged it yourself – I explicitly told you to stay away from him. That should have been enough to prevent everything else."
He turned his head away from her once more, his hands clenched into fists in his lap. "What am I even doing in here?" He muttered sarcastically before rising to his feet.
"Egon- Ah!"
As she moved too quickly to leave the bed, the room spun around her. He paused, his composed demeanor slipping, and glanced back at her with a pained expression.
"…I'm fine. Don't worry about me."
Without uttering a word, he walked away from the bed and made his way out of the room.
She raised her voice as her feet struggled to catch up with him, "You used to accuse me of running away. How can you run away from this conversation now?"
When he didn't respond, she followed him into the corridor.
"Egon!"
He was already halfway down the stairs, and she knew that if he wished, he could have left their home by now.
"What are you trying to do?" She exclaimed. "Are you planning to leave me all alone here in the middle of the night?"
"I can't stay here tonight."
She clenched her teeth. "Don't even consider it."
In the next instant, he was right in her face, looming over her. "Why are you acting so self-righteous and proud? How are you still dictating what I should think, as if I'm the one who deeply wronged you?"
She attempted to turn around, intending to head back to their room, hoping he would follow. However, he effortlessly blocked her path.
"Who's running away now?" His chest rose and fell rapidly. "You wanted to talk, didn't you? Let's talk."
She glared up at him. "Yes, I wanted to have a conversation with my husband, to work through our issues. But your arrogant attitude, leaving when you please, only to demand that I don't do the same..."
A surge of sadness washed over her as she remembered how he had never confided in her about Leopold's suicide.
"...I remember a time when you made decisions on your own like this, and it nearly crushed both of us."
Recognition flickered in his hawk-like eyes.
"That wasn't about me, it was about my family. It's crazy that you're mixing the two."
She nodded at him. "Then let's have a rational conversation."
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