3156: Innocence 71

Innocence 71

"Dongyu, let her be!"1

My mother said unhappily, "She has a home and doesn't come back. Who knows where she's gone fooling around! She's only in her teens and she's already so worrisome. She probably thinks she's grown up! The exams are just round the corner, we'll see how she manages it! If she can't get into senior high school, she's on her own!"

I paled furhter when I heard that.

Dongyu retorted unhappily, "Mom, stop it. Xiachun is old enough to have her own opinions."

My mother said nothing more.

Dongyu pulled me by my arm into the study and shut the door behind us. He lowered his head and studied my face carefully before asking in a muted voice, "Where have you been these past few days?"

"I… I was at Han Xiao's house."

"You're lying."

Dongyu instantly saw through my lie. "You may be able to pull a fast one on others, but you can't fool me. Look me in the eyes and tell me!"

I pushed him away forcefully and said in a fit of pique, "Yin Dongyu, that's enough! You're the one who alienated me. What is this now?!"

Dongyu's face was ashen as he said, "You're my sister. It's my responsibility to care for you!"

I let out an icy laugh and ignored him. Placing my bag on the desk, I suddenly pulled out his notes from within it.

This was his notebook from middle school and he had given it to me to copy.

Instinctively, I rubbed my hands over my pants till I thought they were clean so that I wouldn't dirty his belongings. Then I held the notebook out to him.

"I'm returning this to you."

I didn't look at him. All I heard was a slight chill in his voice as he said, "You're done with it?"

"Uh huh."

"Do you understand what's written in it?"

"Uh huh."

"Well then…"

Sensing my cold attitude, Dongyu knew that the conversation would lead nowhere. He took a deep breath and said, "Rest early. Goodnight."

It wasn't until he left the room that I opened the drawer and took out my diary. I flipped through the numerous pages and wrote down my thoughts for the day.

I've maintained a habit of writing in my journal since fourth grade in elementary school. Back then, I'd write about all my ups and downs, and all the secrets that had to do with Dongyu.

To me, keeping a diary is like pouring out all my unspoken secrets into a hollow.

The diary is like my personal hollow.

Every night, before I went to sleep, I would hide away in this hollow and tell it everything that was on my mind.

Because in this world, it seemed that only by talking to oneself could one unreservedly vent the hidden worries in one's heart.

At some point, I was unable to tell everything to Dongyu even.

The growth of a person is akin to building a thick fortress for oneself, hiding oneself within it. It was as though the stronger the fortress, the greater the sense of security one would feel. As a person grows up, he becomes more guarded, and it becomes harder to get close to others.

When we are young, we can talk about everything with just any friend. We're like happy little birds that find it hard to keep things to ourselves.

However, after we grow up, we realize that there are less and less people who are close to our heart. We keep more and more secrets to ourselves, and the burden we carry grows with this.

And we keep stumbling as we walk along.

In short, humans are creatures with strong instincts.

When our fingers come into contact with fire, we retract them reflexively from the heat.

It's the same if we touched something sharp, we feel the sharpness and we are aware of the pain, so we shrink back.

However, my instincts didn't seem to serve me very much. Otherwise, after being riddled with scars and bullet holes, I wouldn't be still clinging on to my obsession.

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