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21: Unhappy Birthday

Author: Random_writer Word Count: 8874 Updated: 2025-06-09 14:08:58

Unhappy Birthday

"Formation three!" Wade roared. Squad three squished shoulder to shoulder to form a wall of spears pointing down the cave. This was one of the few more advanced techniques that Jameson taught in the past year or two. No one knew why, but he kept increasing the intensity of training.1

It had been nearly two years since Doevm joined the guards. Wade had to take six months to adjust. If he found his toes, they could have been healed back on, but they were completely obliterated in the explosion. In the time that he was gone, Frey proved to be a resourceful leader. He did fail one or two missions for the squad, but that was only to be expected of a temporary leader. Everyone had developed their life essence to a dark green and had learned how to use it properly from Doevm.

"Aim for their hearts." Frey said. "Doevm told me goblins have weak constitutions but will keep fighting even on the brink of death. One shot is one kill."

From in the dark cave, a small pair of eyes reflected the light of the outside. A dozen more pairs lit up. As they got bigger, the outline of goblins appeared. They all wielded bloody daggers as sharp as their teeth. They ran out only to be stabbed to death. When the battle subsided, everyone was uninjured. "Frey, nice work back there," Wade said. "But why did you ask Doevm about the goblins? This mission was supposed to be secret from him.

"I know." Frey said. Over the years, his already massive muscles and frame developed. He was now the physically strongest guard, apart from Jameson. "But he always knows about this sort of thing. He has saved all of us with how much he knows about every kind of monster. Don't worry, I didn't mention this mission was to get a birthday present for him."

"I hope not." Hopi said. "His eyes are sharper than mine. He can see right through you at times." He held his pointed ear to the rocks. "All clear, I don't hear anything else." The squad relaxed a little and walked into the cave. "It really stinks in here." Hopi covered his nose.

"Tell me about it." Frey stepped over the goblin corpses and found the source of the smell. "Oh the goddess." He backed up a few steps and nearly puked. "Doevm wasn't kidding." It was a giant pile of crap and urine against the entire back of the cave.

"This is it?" Wade looked at the pile, his face turning green. "Where is the elixir they stole from the caravan?"

"In there." Frey gagged. "Goblins hide valuables in the place no one, and I mean no one would think to look. We have to..." He stopped swallowing the bit of bile rising in his throat. "Dig through it."

Ten minutes of gagging, vomiting, and E. Coli later, they found the red elixir. They washed their clothes, armor, and weapons with a bonfire and returned to the mansion. It was early in the morning, so everyone else was still getting ready for the surprise.

...

Doevm woke up as usual and stretched his tired muscles. He had grown a foot higher and developed a deeper voice in his two years since joining the guards, but not much else changed. Yawning, he went over what he would do today. 'That's right, today's the day.' He put on his clothes and walked to finish his morning library cleaning. When he got there, the bookshelves were already clean. He found a note on the table with barely legible handwriting: Doevm, please come to The Pit - Jameson. Doevm smiled and walked to just outside The Pit.

"Quiet down, I hear him coming." Hopi whispered in a voice so quiet that even people in the rose field might have heard.

"Not so loud." Frey hissed. "You call that a whisper? That was more like a yell."

"You bunch of idiots; I can hear everything." Doevm laughed as he walked in. Despite knowing what was happening, he was still shocked.

The ceiling had been aligned with colored paper. Tables were set up with all kinds of snacks and foods. A few gifts wrapped in leather were in the corner where the weights usually were. On the left and right, the guards were all dressed in civilian clothes for once.

"Surprise?" Frey half-yelled and nervously laughed.

"That's not how what you should say." Jameson hit Frey on the back of the head. "Everyone together!"

"Happy birthday!"

Doevm couldn't help but smile at how hard everyone had worked just for him. "I-I don't know what to say. Why did everyone go through so much trouble just for me?"

"It's your coming of age party." Jameson said. "You're fourteen now, you're now an adult. You can marry or go to war...among other things. Let's eat." Doevm joined everyone in a feast. Everyone was smiling and laughing. It felt like nothing could stop them. They were drunk on happiness. Doevm tried to stop smiling several times, but it seemed to be a permanent feature. The roasted boar was the best meal Doevm had ever eaten. When everyone's bellies were full, people took turns sparring in the center of The Pit. The winner would go onto the next round with a new opponent. Frey lasted the longest but was eventually knocked out by Hopi because he got tired.

"Who's next?" Hopi stood in the center as the new champion. "I bet I can take down anyone here."

Wade stepped in, "Are you sure about that?" Everyone cheered as the two wrestled. Doevm watched from the sidelines and took peaks at his presents. Most of them were obvious. One was a big long pole in the shape of a spear. One wasn't even wrapped. It was a holster for throwing knives. Doevm looked at the most promising one: the one with a bottle.

'That's too much,' he thought. 'How in the world did these guards afford a bottle of elixir?'

Jameson waded through the sea of cheering guards and sat next to Doevm at the table. His face was downcast, and his expression blank. "Can I talk to you for a second? There's something I need to tell you."

"Sure," Doevm got up and followed Jameson outside The Pit while everyone was distracted. In the open air, the noise faded away. The air was fresh, and Doevm felt the pressure of the party wash away. A new pressure took its place. Tension bloomed from Jameson like the roses in the fields. Doevm took a deep breath: "That was some party, did you organize it?"

"Yes. The guards helped me, but I handled the majority of it." Jameson said. "But that's not what..."

"You spent a lot of money just to celebrate." Doevm interrupted the captain for the first time in years. No guard had done it and gotten away without a punishment, but Doevm kept pushing, "I'm sure that whatever you bought me for a present was expensive as well. Am I right?"

Jameson was silent.

Doevm looked past the rose fields, down to his old house which Frey and Frey's sister now lived. "You've always taken care of me, but I've done nothing for you to deserve your care. You're just like how my mother described you. She always talked about you, and you always talked about her."

"Yes, I suppose I do." Jameson sighed and scratched the back of his head. "It was that obvious huh?"

"Pretty much." Doevm looked at everyone enjoying the party. "I think a few other guards realized as well, but they haven't said anything."

They stood quietly for a few minutes. "Do you hate me?"

"I did." Doevm looked to the mansion. "But after talking to Thomas, I formed a few theories as to why you left. I don't know exactly why, but I can guess it has something to do with his mother. I can also understand why you didn't come back for two years."

"I didn't know Hank was treating you that bad." Jameson's voice wavered. "If I had known I would have come back and killed him. I didn't know she still loved me. If I was just a little faster, things would have been different. I didn't tell you because I thought the guards would treat you as an outsider. If only..."

"You can't change the past." Doevm said. "I know that more than anyone, because no one wants to change it more than me. Thank you for everything, father." He hugged Jameson. 'You poor human.'

In that second of care and love, the world moved. It started as a slight tremble that soon turned into a violent shaking. The seas rose and slammed its water into each other. Houses quaked. Clouds darkened and rained down lightning. In the Pit, all celebration halted. The gods moved to greet and recognize their champions.

In Reginald's room, he laughed like a madman. He had been skipping meals and his hair was graying. He danced around his room: "Just a few weeks! Thomas avoided the draft by just a few weeks. He's only thirteen after all." he bargained with no one. "Praise the goddess for her wisdom."

'That's right,' Doevm thought as Jameson's face lost its color. 'Today's the day. I reincarnated on the same day as the hero. I come of age today and so does he. The hero has been revealed. This twisted game as well as the year-long war starts now.'

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Catalog (467)
1: Prologue 2: Pawn 3: Abuse 4: Rose Thorn 5: A Mother Worries 6: War Monk 7: Virility Mansion 8: Coming war 9: Cleaning books 10: Frey 11: Strength vs. Skill 12: A day in Jameson's Shoes 13: Investigation 14: Lava Boar (Part 1) 15: Lava Boar (part 2) 16: Lava Boar (part 3) 17: Analysis 18: The Past 19: Frey's Challenge 20: Life Essence Training 21: Unhappy Birthday 22: The Truth 23: Leaving 24: Numbskull and Goon 25: Emma 26: Double Date 27: Blacksmith 28: Double Date (Part 2) 29: Mummified Arm 30: Prophecy 31: A Single Cut 32: Inheritance 33: Blasphemy 34: The Rat 35: Twisted Bone 36: Old Addiction 37: Caught 38: Interrogation 39: Welcome to Squad Six 40: Friendly Spar With Squad Six 41: Throwing Knives 42: Calm Before the Storm 43: Manticore 44: Aftermath of The First Battle 45: Promotion 46: New Rivalry 47: Light and Healing Magic 48: Second Mission 49: Wade's Bad Call 50: Outnumbered and Isolated 151: Divine Intervention 152: Final Push 153: Reaper 154: Report 155: Light at the End of the Tunnel 156: Rest 157: Letter 158: Shopping (Part 1/2) 159: Shopping (Part 2/2) 160: Initiation 161: Group of Four 162: Amphiboards 163: The Paddle 164: Start! 165: Bullfrog 166: Noble 167: Underwater 168: Tongue 169: Distant Gaze 170: Trak 171: Doubt 172: Liar 173: Fang 174: Cerberus 175: Teamwork 176: Tired 177: Spear Throwing 178: Breakdown 179: Team 180: Payback 181: Civil Discussion 182: Chains and Anger 183: Mistakes 184: Slight tug 185: Growing pain 186: The Winning Plan 187: Corpse 188: Miss Vessa 189: Old Ways 190: Infectious Determination 191: Numbed Pain 192: Hues 193: Inexperienced (Part 1/2) 194: Inexperienced (Part 2/2) 195: Maddening Rage (Part 1) 196: Maddening Rage (Part 2) 197: The Other Half 198: Lich Talk 199: Demonic Weapon 200: Worst of the Worst 251: Piece of an Origin Story 252: Regret 253: Decisions Decisions 254: Sparring Session 255: Overwhelming Defeat 256: Discovery 257: Suspicion 258: The Broken Statue 259: Gossip 260: The Reach 261: Elero's Return 262: Mr. Lich's true identity 263: Breaking a Habit 264: The Notemaker 265: Beatings, Deadlines, and a Voice in Her Head 266: Unfinished Product 267: The "Jet" Property 268: Inspiration 269: Rough First Day 270: Frustrating Stagnation 271: Visitor 272: Price of Resurrection 273: Becoming Doevm 274: Room of Jars 275: Familiar Smile 276: Dark Magic and Shadows 277: Red and Blue 278: Punishment 279: Sneaking Out 280: The Old Puppet 281: Shattered 282: Assembling the Pieces 283: Timeline 284: Sticks and Stones 285: Initiative, Insults, and Interrogation 286: Thomas and Elero discover the power and the secret then they go and discover the ruins. Man how long can these titles be? I 287: Regret 288: Revamped Story and a Crowded Room 289: Attack 290: Changing Nightmare 291: Another Crack in the Seal 292: Physical descriptions are important 293: Backyard 294: Pale complexion 295: Costly Resurrection 296: Rabbid Rabbit Thomas 297: Cramped Coffin 298: Advanced Spellcraft 299: Gradual Return 300: Larque's Warning 51: Elven Techniques 52: Hopi's Rage 53: Bottled Slimes 54: Three Men of the Von Trike Household 55: Hooks and Vines 56: The Nest 57: Ancient Ruins 58: Legacy (Part 1) 59: Legacy (Part 2) 60: Easter Egg Hunt: Ghoul Edition 61: Regrouping 62: Carnage 63: Reckless and Stupid 64: Self Doubt 65: DID YOU WANT ME TO BE QUIET!? 66: Meeting With Marcus 67: New Men 68: Internal Battle 69: The Plan 70: "Honorable" Duel (Part 1) 71: "Honorable" Duel (Part 2) 72: You're Invited 73: Praise the Goddess 74: A Lich That Hates Magic 75: Ten Months Later 76: Doevm vs. Oliver 77: A Weird Lich 78: Final Battle (Part 1) 79: Final Battle (Part 2) 80: Final Battle (Part 3) 81: General 82: Aftermath 83: No Longer Human. No Longer Lich. 84: Blinded By Greed 85: The Spider 86: Back On Track! 87: Dark World 88: Return to the Virility Household 89: Old Man's Story 90: Meeting The Family 91: Dummy Brigade 92: Weak 93: New Weapons 94: First Mission 95: Sheltered Boy 96: No Graves 97: Severed Head 98: Specimen No. 12 99: Storm Brewing 100: Departure 201: Distrust 202: Spear and Shield 203: Winner 204: Karma 205: Training Complete 206: Ruined Church 207: The Scene of Slaughter 208: Giant's Rage 209: Bottled Emotions 210: Gregen's Blade 211: Inhumane 212: Just My Luck 213: The Demon's Prey 214: Fallen (Part 1/2) 215: Fallen (Part 2/2) 216: Losing Control 217: Nightmare 218: Lich 219: Final Secrets Revealed 220: Twisted Mind 221: Glossary, NOT A CHAPTER 222: Coming to A Close 223: Jackal's Deal 224: Swaying the Crowd 225: Away With You 226: New Recruit 227: Jar of Memories 228: Two Blue Flames 229: Cerlius 230: The Knight's Academy 231: Meeting (1/3) 232: Meeting (2/3) 233: Meeting (3/3) 234: Entering the Academy (1/4) 235: Entering the Academy (2/4) 236: Entering the Academy (3/4) 237: Entering the Academy (4/4) 238: Cerlius's First Day of School 239: Three Concepts of Magic 240: Picking up the Pieces 241: Third Concept 242: Fish Slap 243: My name is Cerlius! 244: Thomas's Natural Charisma 245: New Disciples 246: Consequences of Strength 247: Old Wheelchair 248: Judgement 249: Natural Evil Cannot Be Forgotten 250: Deal with a Demon 101: Scrap City (Part 1) 102: Scrap City (Part 2) 103: Curiosity Killed the Cat 104: Draken Capital 105: Flash of Light 106: Separation 107: Slow Recovery 108: Jackal Von Trike 109: Alexander Finlish 110: Place Your Bets 111: Catch 112: Kill Him 113: Fear 114: Depths of the Capital 115: Missing 116: Meeting of the Nobles 117: Creature (Part 1) 118: Creature (Part 2) 119: Creature (Part 3) 120: Later 121: Braces 122: Abandoned Food 123: Elero Mech 124: Masochist 125: Poisonous 126: Halfbreed 127: Jackal vs. Daniel (Part 1) 128: Jackal vs Daniel (Part 2) 129: March 130: Lord Brandon Von Trike 131: Raid (Part 1) 132: Raid (Part 2) 133: Raid (Part 3) 134: Raid (Part 4) 135: Raid (Part 5) 136: Raid (Part 6) 137: Sore Loser 138: Human Suffering 139: Broken (Part 1) 140: Broken (Part 2) 141: Dark Magician 142: The Plan 143: Unmoving 144: Action Reaction 145: Going Deeper 146: Unknown Voice 147: Gunshots 148: Illusion Spell 149: A Girl 150: Anger Management Issues 301: Alliance 302: Shattered Jar 303: Tricks up the Tyrant's Sleeve 304: Battlefield 305: Deep Scars 306: Pull 307: Tormentor 308: Heretic 309: Incoming Storm Cloud 310: Ominous Birth 311: To Take on an Army 312: Green Gemstone 313: Place of Origin 314: Birth of the Lich 315: You Either Die a Hero or... 316: Tired of Hiding 317: Demon King's Power 318: Different Magics 319: Guidance 320: Birth of a Berserker 321: Targets 322: The Survivors 323: Long Awaited Contact 324: The Final Cliffhanger (part 1/2) 325: The Final Cliffhanger (part 1.5/2) Yes, I know I f***ed up 326: Final Final Cliffhanger, an apology 327: Quiet Arrival 328: Wizard Kick 329: Dead Silence 330: Dwindling Defenses 331: Positions Everyone, for the Show Begins 332: Imminent demise 333: Dud Part 1/2 (but let's be real here it'll probably be out of 3 because I underestimate stuff) 334: Dud Part 2 (Thanks to Logician for the suggestion) 335: Dud Part 3 336: Refusal to Submit 337: Hungry for a Fight 338: Lich Unleashed Part 1 339: Lich Unleashed Part 2 340: Lich Unleashed Part 3 341: The Western Hallway: Part 1 342: The Western Hallway: Part 2 343: The Mess Hall: Part 1 344: The Forbidden One's Arrival 345: Two Kings, a Rook, a Queen, a Priest, and a Whole lot of Pawns 346: Exception to the Rule 347: Fellow Pawn 348: Divine Savior 349: The Aftermath 350: The Shadox's Lament 351: Elero's Operation 352: Fall Down Seven Times. Get Up Eight Times. 353: PMI: Passive Magical Income 354: Hurried Goodbye 355: Graduation 356: Undead Shambling Through the Streets 357: Can I come with you? 358: Graduation 359: Sparring Session 360: Liar Liar 361: Washed Up Demi 362: Just a corpse 363: Into the Ruin 364: A Hero's Hesitation 365: Losing Control 366: Paying the Price 367: To Rely on Oneself 368: Kin 369: Deal 370: Come With Me 371: When It's Painful, Cry, Then Get Back Up. 372: Thomas's Choice 373: Bloodtrail 374: Plan B 375: Fighting to Die 376: Past the Breaking Point 377: Captain Fisher 378: Prologue 379: Prologue (Part 2) 380: Prologue (Part 3) 381: Prologue (Part 4) 382: Prologue (Part 5) 383: Last Day in a Long Journey 384: Frowning Frey 385: Mercenaries 386: Distracted 387: Lord Jameson 388: Disarming Sincerity 389: Search For Arte 390: Friendly Fire 391: Anger and Gentleness of a Giant 392: Safe Haven 393: The legend of Arthur Botoman 394: Old Foe 395: Wear and Tear 396: Compliments to the Chef (Part 1) 397: Compliments to the Chef (Part 2) 398: My Only Family (Part 1) 399: My Only Family (Part 2) 400: Wake up! 401: Whispers Underground 402: Why a chef? 403: Hostage Situation 404: Radiant Burst 405: Left Alive? 406: The Slap 407: The Right Choice (Part 1/2) 408: The Right Choice (Part 2/2) 409: Report from the Capital 410: Owen's Warning 411: Patron 412: Goodbye Petal Town 413: Old Friend in the Bloodwood 414: Boiling Toad 415: Full Alert 416: Relying on Magic 417: Gutless Cur 418: Doevm's paranoia 419: A Letter From Elero 420: Takeoff 421: Destination: Polyglint Mines 422: Good Old Reverse Psychology 423: Got any better ideas? 424: Blending in 425: Sir Wilhelm 426: Passing on a Message 427: Let's Play a Game 428: Kilot's Infectious Laughter 429: Descent into the Darkest Darkness...which is Dark (Part 1/2) 430: Descent into the Darkest Darkness...which is Dark (Part 2/2) 431: EEEWWWWWWWWWWWW 432: Firing up the Forge 433: The Second Legacy 434: Hit the Books 435: Welcome to the Game, Doevm 436: The Players 437: The Hollow Stone 438: The Lich's Blessing 439: Stupid Frey 440: Dragon Hoard 441: The Source of the Mana and the Unconscious Ally 442: The Classic Old Dwarvish Bait 443: Chronomancy, an Assassin, and a Theory 444: The Assassin's Execution 445: Jumping at Shadows 446: Whole again 447: An Old Dwarf has his Tricks 448: Food, Shelter, and Privacy 449: Maker's Punishment 450: New Image 451: The Troop's Morale 452: Divide and Conquer 453: Custom Order Tool 454: The Beginning of the Last Crucade 455: Recurring Dream or Nightmare? 456: Instigating a Fight 457: The Arrogance of the Strong 458: The Hunt Begins 459: Edgy Tendencies and a Pure-Hearted Smile 460: Reward: Ascention 461: Multi-layered Trap 462: Percieved Threat 463: Rise of the False Hope 464: Questionable Alliance 465: A Reason to Fight 466: When an Unstoppable Force Meets an Unmovable Object 467: Lesson One Complete
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