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144: Unbeatable Duo VS Lich! (1/2)

Author: ClasslessAscension Word Count: 7435 Updated: 2025-06-11 13:38:41

Unbeatable Duo VS Lich! (1/2)

Location: Boss Room Chicken Palace Trial of the Damned 

Current Status: Madly cackling while handling a ballista. 

Background: Shitload of FML and undead chickens.

Current Objective: Slay the Titan! 

Jack carefully raised the giant crossbow, slowly pointing it toward the colossus's chest— or he tried anyway. This damn thing couldn't move that high! 

"Whatever, we'll destroy the legs first then!" Jack heroically shouted as he pulled the trigger. 

— TWANG!!! — 

The gigantic bolt powerfully flew toward the enemy. The recoil instantly sent him flying backward. What was up with that thing's stability?! Wait….it was off target! 

It all happened in slow-motion. The two of them gazed at the projectile as it made its way…straight at the thing's crotch! It made everything explode, EVERYTHING! 

At this single instant, the two of them winced in pain. This was such a perverse attack! 

"Woo?!" (Shocked!) 

Moon Moon even yelped in fear, gulping loudly. It glanced at its master, completely shocked. This last attack had been so cruel, even against an undead! 

"T-that…. it's important not to show any mercy," Jack uttered as if that hadn't been a complete mistake. 

Luckily, the awkward atmosphere was shattered by the giant crumbling to its knees. The Necromancer's bone cocoon was right in front of them. Without waiting, they charged!

So what if there were undead chickens in the way? Screw them! (Not literally) 

The two happily hacked, slashed, and bit at the thing. This reminded them of their fight with the fiery chicken heart! 

"Woo!" (Take this!) 

"Woo!" (This one is for the bad music!) 

"Woo!" (Here's another swing of my mighty paw!) 

Moon Moon was really going at it! It showed it who was boss! Even then, they were barely doing any damage to it. This thing was so damn hard, as hard as wood on a morning! 

-1

-1

-1

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But even that pitiful damage was enough to make the Farming Lich inside panic.

"GeT AwAy fOuL BeAsT! lEaVe mY BoNeS AlOnE! sHoO— gO PlAy sOmEwHeRe eLsE" The creature's voice was almost begging, then turned to anger. "ArRgG! sCrEw yOu! ScReW YoU AlL!" 

Along with that powerful cry, plenty of skeletal chickens rushed forward, throwing themselves against the thing. Their bodies fused with it, and a second later, the golem was back in full shape! 

"Woo?!" (What?!) 

"We just need to keep attacking it. There are still claw marks at the core!" Jack pointed out. 

"Woo!" (Relieved and resolute!) 

"But be careful. There is no way that it will remain that easy. Stay sharp and moving!" Jack reminded. Good thing he had. 

Before, they only had to avoid the creature while it tried stomping them. But now, everything was different. The Necromancer's shouts filled the room as the monster used magic!

The golem's frame trembled as if a bell, filling the entire palace with a resounding echo. Then there was some movement near the outer walls. 

"Fucking bitches!" 

"Woo?!" 

Jack and Moon Moon's faces fell as they noticed the flying bones heading their way. But they weren't alone as there were plenty of FML. They couldn't see them, but they could hear them for sure! Their perverse song filled the room. 

They came under incredible assault: 

1. Dodge a giant bony foot 

2. Avoid an enormous fist 

3. Resist the endless sea of chickens

4. Sidestep getting impaled by a flying bone 

5. Endure the unbearable background noise

6. Rinse and motherfucking repeat cause why not?! 

This felt like unending torture! Heck, even slaves needed a few breaks at times, much less them! 

"Woo?!" (Complaining!) 

"Tch— I'm aware. We'll have to improvise." Jack grumbled. 

They began to repeat steps one to six over and over. They were obviously in way over their heads!— or so it seemed. 

But, they weren't just desperately running for their lives (just 99%). They were also getting used to the Titan's movement patterns! 

"Woo!!" (Careful!) 

"Dodge! Good wolf!" 

The two encouraged one another. They appeared to be at the end of their rope, but finally, they managed to get the timing right! 

….A second later, a huge bony limb was crushing Jack. 

— CRUNCH! — 

At least that's what it looked like. Actually, he had barely avoided it. His cloak was under the thing, but he was perfectly fine! That had been freaking close! 

As for the shattering sound? It was a liberating sound! The flying bones that had been right on his tail hadn't made it! They were now on the ground in pieces so small they were invisible. 

Friendly fucking fire! Jack was laughing to himself, and even Moon Moon was sneering on the side. From this point onward, they would…aggressively flee!! (Yes, that was a thing!) 

For a second, even the FML shut up. The creatures were probably thinking something along the lines of: "Fuck my life! Did that guy just do that?!" Of course, the chickens were still clucking. (They never stopped!) 

"Just gotta repeat this a few dozen times. Are you ready?" 

"Woo!" (Hell yeah!) 

The few dozen times part would have been demoralizing to any regular player, but luckily Moon Moon didn't know how to count! XD 

"Come and catch me, you bony sons of bitches!" Jack eagerly screamed.  1

Then after way too many laps around the throne room, he finally had a second of respite. He hurriedly used it to load another bolt in one of the ballistae. Then they were ready to go. 

"Fire in the freaking hole!" Jack screamed as he just happened to shoot the thing's inexistent dick?!…. It really wasn't intentional! 

"Woo?!" (Scared!) 

As the thing fell on its knees again, they went to beat it up some more. 

-1

-1

-1

-1

Now that they knew how to proceed, everything would be easy, right? Apparently not...

As soon as the round of beatings was over, the Necromancer went back to shouting spells. If only they had a way to mute it right now! But this time, it wasn't just the Necromancer that was screaming, far from it! 

The Titan suddenly began to change. Before, it had vaguely resembled a humanoid, but it then got itself a brand new mouth! It was so well detailed down to the very teeth, all 64 of them! Wait….64?! 

That's when it opened wide and….screeched!! 

— SCREECH!!! — 

The two instantly covered their ears in an attempt to stop the damn ringing. Jack sighed in relief when the sound was over, but Moon Moon couldn't! 

The poor wolf was frozen in fear! Wait, no, it was frozen in magic! 

"Woooooooooo….." (Whaaaaaaaatttt!) 

Oh, fuck! The flying bones were back and were already targeting the poor wolf's vitals! 

"Moon Moon!" Jack cried out, rushing to save his pet. 

He grabbed his furry friend, slowing down in the process. A few sharp bones lodged themselves deeply in his back, scratched his arms, and even skewered his damn ass! 

The demonic energy penetrated him deeply and brought a torrent of pain! It was even worse than stubbing his little toe on a corner! No, it was even freaking worse! Maybe only replacing toe by PP could describe the pain! 

But he kept running amidst the suffering. He even sighed in relief as he lowered his eyes. Moon Moon was safe!

"Don't worry, buddy. I got you!" He softly whispered. 

"Wooooooo…." 

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1: Peerless Pumpkinmancer! 2: Jack VS Chaos Maleficient 3: Mad Leader, Mad Followers! 4: I Miss You Sis 5: Hiking: Suicide Trail 6: One Crazy Bitch! 7: I'm Back?! 8: I'm Back Bitches! 9: — VR Headset Obtained!— 10: Maintenance Void: Jack VS Gods! 11: [Welcome to New Leaf Village!] 12: Do What In A Potion Shop?! 0_0 13: DON'T TOUCH THE SHOP!! 14: Acquiring Tools! 15: CHICKENS!!!!!! 16: FOXES!!!! 17: NPC Bully VS Player Bullies 18: So There’s a Girl?! 19: Night of the Chickens!!!! 20: Instructor Igor 21: Legacy of the Fisting King 22: Manly Fight! 23: Do You Know CPR? 24: FRIEEDDDD CHICKENNNN!!!!! 25: Chicken Onslaught! 26: Very Angry Chicken! 27: Learn From One's Mistakes 28: Is the Event Over or Not?! 29: Epic Loot! 30: True Identity Revealed! 31: This Forest Is a Little Too Peaceful! 32: There Be Wolves... 33: Wild Chase + Playing Catch! 34: Rescue! 35: The Mighty Wolves....?! 36: Amazing Welcoming Party! 37: Domineering Jack'O! 38: Calm, a Little Too Calm! 39: OP Wolf Cub!!! 40: OP Wolf Cub?!? 41: Forest Invasion! 42: #All Meat Matters 43: The (Demon) King Is Here! 44: Forging 101 (1/2) 45: Forging 101 (2/2) 46: More Gear! 47: Full Motherfucking Set! (Kinda) 48: Engulfing Mana Room! 49: Jack Already has Fans?! (1/2) 50: Jack Already has Fans?! (2/2) 101: (POV) D.L Is a Goddamn Cult! (2/2) 102: Can You Smell It? 103: Can You Really Smell It? 104: Bullying Wolf Brothers 105: Kids are Annoying 106: HARD Wolf Den is Hard! 107: Cheering Moon Moon Up 108: Chicken Fight-Club 109: Hellish Chicken Run 110: Jack vs Heart (1/3) 111: Jack vs Heart (2/3) 112: Jack vs Heart (3/3) 113: So Many Trolls! 114: Fiery Training! (1/2) 115: Fiery Training! (2/2) 116: Jack vs Village Chief (1/2) 117: Jack vs Village Chief (2/2) 118: He Won't Fucking Die! (1/2) 119: He Won't Fucking Die! (2/2) 120: Pressed For Time! (1/2) 121: Pressed For Time (2/2) 122: Raid vs Jack'O! 123: Jack's New Plan! Ballsy or Dumb? 124: Best Party Ever?! Part 1 125: Best Party Ever?! Part 2 126: Best Party Ever?! Part 3 127: Best Party Ever?! Weed and Danger Lurking! 128: Drunk Jack VS Assassins (1/2) 129: Drunk Jack VS Assassins (2/2) 130: Amazing Barbecue! 131: [18+] ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 132: Let Me Roast the Messenger! (1/2) 133: Let Me Roast the Messenger! (2/2) 134: The Fall of D.L?! 135: WTF Is Jack Doing?! 136: Chicken Trial Palace of the Damned! 137: Stats Too Low?! 138: Hellish Highlights Are Out?! 139: Trials In Trial Palace! (Of the Damned) 140: Opening a Door In Style 141: This Is a Challenge?! 142: A Farmer?! 143: Intimidation Tactic! 144: Unbeatable Duo VS Lich! (1/2) 145: Unbeatable Duo VS Lich! (2/2) 146: Who's Homeless?! 147: Who's That Guy?! 148: Give Me One of Everything!!! 149: Roombot Goes BRRRR! 150: Scheming Demon King! (1/2) 151: Scheming Demon King! (2/2) 152: Cheerleaders VS Chief 153: War God: Invincible Chief! 154: Summoning Devils Is Easy! 155: Devilishly Endless Torture! 156: Fight Them All! Fuck Them Up! Feast On Their Blood! 157: One Who "Lead" 158: Foolish Girl! (1/2) 159: Foolish Girl! (2/2) 160: This Is MY Village, Bitch!! 161: Use a Devil to Slay a Demon! 162: Endlessly Suffering Village Chief (1/2) 163: Endlessly Suffering Village Chief (2/2) 164: SAY WHAT?!!!  165: "….. WE'RE FUCKED!" 166: He Really Is a God!!! 167: Our Savior! NVM!!! 168: What a Chad!! 169: Rescue Operation!!!! 170: Raging Inferno!!! 171: They’re All Gone!! 172: Snuffing the Pesky Players Out! 173: This Is Bonkers!! 174: Invincible?! What The Hell! 175: Tons of Holy Shit!!! 176: [ STATUS! ] 177: Is It Love? Goddamnit! 178: Bloodied Hobo! 179: Strange Hiring Test 180: So I'm an NPC? 181: A Very Tense Meeting! 182: Is Peace Possible? Hella Nope! 183: Willing to Help! 184: Necrocluckmancy 101 185: Are We Done Here? 186: Bringer of Chaos! 187: Did Someone Say PUMPKINS?! 188: Farmgirl's Plump Pumpkins! 189: Jack x Pumpkin Girl? (1/2) 190: Jack x Pumpkin Girl? (2/2) 191: Max Affinity! What?! (1/2) 192: Max Affinity! What?! (2/2) 193: Getting Scammed?! (1/2) 194: Getting Scammed?! (2/2) 195: Making Friends! 196: Making 100% Human Friends! 197: Macabres Are Scary! 198: Disaster? No Way! (1/3) 199: Disaster? No Way! (2/3) 200: Disaster? No Way! (3/3) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 51: The Demon King's Song 52: 1 V 50 (1/2) 53: 1 v 50 (2/2) 54: The Demon King is Fake! 55: Deadly Predator Stalking 56: Last Minute Training 57: MVP vs OP Fox Progenitor! 58: Huge Implications! 59: Fox Grove, Path Forward! 60: Mighty Fox Booklet! 61: Jack Sure Is Nice! 62: Deadly Rats! 63: The Hunter and the Hunted! 64: Fox Grove: Boss! (1/2) 65: Fox Grove: Boss! (2/2) 66: Announcements Overload 67: Theory Behind Creating a "Faction" 68: Things in Motion! 69: Finding a Partner (1/2) 70: Finding a Partner (2/2) 71: D.L. Is Established! 72: Demon King Highlight! 73: Hustling FTW! 74: Just Casual Jack Things 75: Entering the Friendly Wolf Den! (1/2) 76: Entering the Friendly Wolf Den! (2/2) 77: "Helping" Bubblegum 78: Headpats are OP! 79: What’s His Name? 80: Screw That Guy! 81: OP-ranhas 82: Wolves Be Tanky?! 83: Speech: We Are Not the Same 84: The Hunt Begins! 85: Hero Jack! (Not) 86: Intense Battlefield! 87: [Error! Error!] 88: Bulldozing Through! 89: The Perfect Trap! (Wolf POV) 90: Stonehenge 91: Bitch With Tasty Tits 92: Slaughtering Babies 93: Planning Revenge! 94: Back for Blood!...And Milk! 95: Amazing Rewards?! Where?! 96: New Challenge! 97: Parkour!? 98: Various Challenges! (Start) 99: Chicken Challenges End? 100: (POV) D.L Is a Goddamn Cult! (1/2) 201: Braving the Mist for the Pumpkins! 202: Mist Old Man's Test! 203: Water Temple: Hellish Maze! 204: Water Temple: No More!!! 205: Water Temple: Please Leave Me Alone!! 206: Pumpkins > OP Power! 207: The Calm Before the Storm! 208: Rain IS Scary! 209: Helpful Mister Mage! 210: Dumb Faction Players! 211: Surrounded?! 212: Beacon of Light! 213: Scheming Against the Farm! 214: Showing off the NPC! 215: Forest Training! 216: Fairy and Fluffles! 217: First Protector! 218: Macabres are Great! (1/2) 219: Macabres are Great! (2/2) 220: Navigating the Fairy Village! (1/2) 221: Navigating the Fairy Village! (2/2) 222: Jack vs Fairy Protector! 223: Wingless Fairy Is No Fairy ! 224: Receive Quest Rewards? 225: Boss Ken! 226: Jack Playing Nice! 227: Fairy: For Academic Purpose! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 228: Annoying Bastards (1/2) 229: Annoying Bastards (2/2) 230: Ghouls' Objective?! 231: Doing Good Deeds! 232: Test of Skills! 233: One Can Hunt Like That?! 234: Visiting a Small Shop 235: Stable Boy! 236: Esteemed Demon King! 237: Reporting! (1/2) 238: Chill Meeting! (2/2) 239: Going Back to New Leaf! 240: Eternal Mines! 241: Eternal Unrest! 242: Crystals, Lots of Crystals! 243: Mastermind Behind It All?! 244: Crystal Dragon!! (1/2) 245: Crystal Dragon!! (2/2) 246: Truth Inquisition! 247: Into the Canyon 248: Legendary Pickaxe Hurling Wolf Sitter 249: Magical Portal! 250: Great Heroic Army! 251: Goblins! 252: Negotiations! 253: Forsaken Detective 254: Undead! 255: Undead Trial! 256: New Class?! 257: Hail Mary! 258: Terracotta Dungeon Bosses 259: Sprigfield = Dangerous! 260: Good Riddance, Holy Mark! 261: You Call This Torture? 262: Disaster #2: They're Here! 263: One Mad Dark Elf! (1/2) 264: One Mad Dark Elf! (2/2) 265: Arena Infiltration 266: Give Her Back!!! 267: Elemental Gone?! 268: Destroying the Ecosystem! 269: Mermaid Bartering 270: D.L. Versus Mermaid! 271: OP Reward! 272: Eat Your Vegetables! 273: I'll Give You A Choice! 274: Trip to the Swamp 275: The Selling Business 276: Jack Sneaking Out?! 277: Emergency 278: Goblin Helpers 279: Bandits 280: Brightest Paladin Ever! 281: Overthinking Demon 282: Bandits' Revenge Quest!! 283: Evildoers' Escape! 284: Boss, I Need Equipment! 285: Forging 101 286: New Technique! 287: Miracle! Father?! 288: Eavesdropping 289: Moon Elf 290: Recruiting! 291: Lucky Golden Den 292: Assassination? Where? When? 293: Friendly Lilly! 294: Rats! Lots of Rats!!! 295: Crafting Test! 296: One Table to Rule Them All! 297: Wise Jack! 298: Welcome to the Gang! 299: Incompetent Teacher 300: Jack's Secret! 351: Almost Godlike Singing... 352: New Friends! 353: Baby Shark! 354: I AM Human! 355: The Mist! 356: "Fun" Torture Session! 357: Fishfight! 358: Babysitting Job 359: Naked Fish Guy! 360: Secret Weapons! 361: Beach Slaughter! 362: Big Decision! 363: Both! I Meant Both! 364: Assassin and Counterattack! 365: Prison Infiltration! 366: Juking Guards Crazily! 367: Gang VS Seaweed Monster! 368: Moon Moon's Last Stand! 369: Pumpkin Girl's Adventure! 370: Explosive Palace Stop! 301: Jack VS Silver 302: All DEAD!! 303: Towers?! 304: Ice Cube Baby! 305: Rat Demon Queen! 306: New Training 307: Little Wolf — Eternal Protector! 308: Igloo Madness! 309: Is this Hunting?!! 310: Traumatizing a Village 311: Peaceful Dreamy Village! 312: Dream Fight! 313: Village Renovation! 314: — GAOOO!!! — (1/2) 315: — GAOOO!!! — (2/2) 316: Lilly & Mobsters (1/2) 317: Lilly & Mobsters (2/2) 318: Just a Coffee... 319: Summer Heat! 320: New Objective! (+Friend?!) 321: Explosive Reunion! 322: Bubblegum VS Pumpkin Girl 323: Strength in Belief! 324: Demon King in a Bottle! 325: Prison Break! 326: Warm Elven Welcoming 327: Eternal Labyrinth! 328: Crazy Ride! 329: Elven Arena! 330: Picking a Reward 331: Preparations: MERCY 332: New Area?! 333: Centaur Village! 334: THEY Are Coming! 335: "Easy Infiltration!" 336: Touching Sacrifice! 337: Are You Worthy? 338: KILLLLL! 339: Navigating the City! 340: Jack VS Ephial Commander! (1/2) 341: Jack VS Ephial Commander! (2/2) 342: Intimidating...Thing 343: Centaurs VS Thing 344: Divine Guarding Beast 345: OP Hero-Princess! 346: Explosive Come Back! 347: Goodbye Centaur Realm! 348: Just a Spear.... 349: Mighty Deleter of Accounts!!! 350: Following Her Footsteps!
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